Will the Real Satoshi Please Stand Up? | Vol. 3 / No. 27.3

May I have your attention please? | Photo: drestwn, CC BY 2.0


May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Satoshi please stand up?
I repeat will the real Satoshi please stand up?
We’re going to have a problem here

Y’all act like you never seen a programmer before
Jaws all on the floor like Classic and Core just burst in the door
Started whippin’ out dicks worse than before they first got divorced
Throwing it over node-countin’
It’s the return of the “Oh wait, no way, you’re kidding,
He didn’t just say what I think he did, did he?”
And Karpeles said–
Nothing you idiots Karpeles is dead, he’s locked in my basement (ha ha)
Anarchist women love blockchains, chicka chicka chicka Satoshi I’m sick of him
Look at him, walking around grabbing his who knows what
Signin’ as you know who “yeah, but this one’s true though”
Yea he probably got a couple of screws up in his head loose
But no worse than what’s going on in your bankers’ boardrooms.
Sometimes I want to get online and yell till I’m hoarse, but can’t,
But it’s cool for newsthumpers to flog a dead horse:
This time Bitcoin’s dead, this time Bitcoin’s dead
But if we’re lucky SN might just raise his little head!
And that’s the message that they deliver to little kids
Expecting them not to know what basic cryptography is.
Of course they gonna know what a signature is, by the time they hit 4th grade,
They got Wikipedia now don’t they?
We ain’t nothing but backers,
Well some are backstabbers, who cut other people open like l33t hackers.
But if we can build a welfare state and procreate
Then there’s no reason that a man and two other men can’t create
An easy way around this godawful stalemate
Bloggers time to strike a pose, sing the chorus and it goes

We’re Satoshi, yes we’re the real ‘toshi
All you other Satoshis are just Sa-faux-shis
So won’t the real Satoshi, please stand up,
Please stand up,
Please stand up…?



Thanks for reading! I only get paid in my own (and your) enthusiasm, so please like This Week In Tomorrow on Facebook, follow me on Twitter @TWITomorrow, and tell your friends about the site!

If you like our posts and want to support our site, please share it with others, on Facebook, Twitter, Reddit — anywhere you think people might want to read what we’ve written. Thanks so much for reading, and have a great week.


Richard Ford Burley is a human, writer, and doctoral candidate at Boston College, as well as an editor at Ledger, the first academic journal devoted to Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. In his spare time he writes about science, skepticism, feminism, and futurism here at This Week In Tomorrow.