Look, let’s get a few things straight about putting things up your bum. Doing so is only medically useful in a very limited number of cases. If you’re extremely constipated and for some reason oral laxatives aren’t working; if you’re extreme nauseated and you can’t keep anti-nauseants down long enough for them to work; if you’re extremely dehydrated and can’t take in water orally and can’t have an IV drip; if you’re extremely malnourished and can’t take in nutrients orally; and if you need certain specific medical tests which involve either emptying the colon or administering a dye for radiological scanning. I’m not sure that’s an exhaustive list, but I think that’s about the limit of it.
Putting coffee up your bum is medically pointless, relies on the absurd and outdated idea of autointoxication, and puts you at risk of medical complications.
Thus, as you might expect, I disagree with literally everything you can find for sale (literally or ideologically) over at “purelifeenema.com” (which is real. seriously. I know.).
Case in point, the “wheatgrass enema:”
“You can juice 2 oz of fresh wheatgrass and pour into your enema water for a very refreshing enema. You will easily feel the purifying action of the wheatgrass upon the liver and colon. You will notice you have an abundance of energy thanks to the vitamins entering into the bloodstream directly.”
“Wheatgrass enemas are safe and an excellent way to balance your Ph [sic]. They have been used for over 50 years in curing many ailments associated with a toxic colon and liver, or immune deficiency problems.”
No. A thousand times no. Not only is there only the most limited of evidence that wheatgrass has health benefits when consumed orally, there is literally no reason whatsoever to put it up your bum. It will not “purify” your liver. It will not “purify” your colon. It will not “balance your Ph” (or even your pH). There are no ailments associated with a “toxic” colon or “toxic” liver that it will help in any way, shape, or form. It will not fix any “immune deficiency problems” — which, by the way, are very real and very serious conditions, like AIDS, hepatitis, and leukemia. It will not fix anything, except, maybe, constipation, and honestly at that point so will plain old water if you’re going to go that route. Just no.
Don’t waste your money.
Happy Monday, everyone.
Richard Ford Burley is a human, writer, and doctoral candidate at Boston College, as well as an editor at Ledger, the first academic journal devoted to Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. In his spare time he writes about science, skepticism, feminism, and futurism here at This Week In Tomorrow.
Photo: Wheatgrass, Kirsteen, CC BY-SA 2.0