Please Don’t Drill Into Your iPhone | Vol. 3 / No. 48.1

Things Not To Do Today | Photo: Taras Maksimuk/YouTube

This week’s entry in the “things I can’t even believe anyone has to actually tell someone” file is… well, it’s amazing. Here, look around your office or living room for a moment, make sure you’re alone, and then try saying it out loud. You ready? Here we go:

Don’t drill into your iPhone.

Is that nuts or what? Here, let’s put it another way:

Don’t use a power drill in a misguided attempt to make a headphone jack for a piece of complicated technology, and don’t drill into anything — ANYTHING — with a potentially explosive battery in it.

I don’t really get it. And yet, and yet:

THIS IS A JOKE, YOU GUYS. DON’T ACTUALLY DO IT.

But as reporter Samuel Gibbs is reporting over at The Guardian: “The YouTube video’s comment section – normally a place filled with vitriol and despair for humanity – was full of people claiming to have performed the operation and destroying their iPhone 7 in the process, the sincerity of which is questionable.

“The sincerity of which is questionable”? Oh, you have so much more faith in humanity than I do, Mr. Samuel Gibbs of The Guardian. So very much more.

Happy Monday, everyone.

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Richard Ford Burley is a human, writer, and doctoral candidate at Boston College, as well as an editor at Ledger, the first academic journal devoted to Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies. In his spare time he writes about science, skepticism, feminism, and futurism here at This Week In Tomorrow.